Jewelry, Hair and Salsa August 10, 2011
Two of my guiding principles are to try to leave people in a better place than where they were when I found them and to try to offer more compliments than criticisms (you can read the rest of my ideas on my home page if you are interested).
One of the things that I like to compliment is jewelry. Jewely appeals to the artist in me and as an artist I notice these things. I also know that a lot of women are self-conscious and complimenting jewelry that I like is an honest way that I can offer a sincere complement. I have found that complimenting engagement and wedding rings is a particularly safe complement because at the same time I am offering the compliment I am acknowledging their unavailability. And I am also reminding them of something that they are obviously excited about. These compliments are rarely taken as anything more than a compliment which is what they are intended to be.
The last few years I have noticed that compliments on other types of jewelry are sometimes interpreted as a come on and lead to an uncomfortable situation. Unfortunately in the world we live in there are a lot of weird people who do weird things. A come one from a guy my age is understandably not welcome very often.
I have seen a similar thing on the dance floor occasionally. I don’t recall trying to date any of the ladies that I salsa dance with but sometimes I think it would be nice to know something about the people I dance with regularly. Most of the time this is welcome but on occasion it has been the cause of ladies being unwilling to dance with me in the future.
I admit that I can be clumsy socially sometimes but my intentions are usually pretty good. It is unfortunate that the weirdness in the world and the weird people in the world sometimes make it difficult to spread goodwill. I wonder how we let things get to this point or if we even had a choice in it.
The girl who served lunch today for my mom and me had a very nice hair style. She was not a beautiful girl though she was by no means unattractive. Her hair style was not beautiful either. It was just a very good look for her. She was about the same age as my daughter so I would not be interested in her even if I were single, which I am not. It would have been nothing more than a well-meaning compliment. I decided she might not take it that way so this time I decided to remain silent.
To all the ladies out there that I know or will meet, if I compliment you on your jewelry please take it as just that. And If I have offended you with my compliments or questions in the past I am sorry. Please understand that it was just a compliment. Or maybe I just wanted to know more about someone that I enjoy sharing a salsa dance with on a frequent basis.